People can probably blame college for my aloof attitude towards organized religion.

On paper, it makes sense: I was baptized as a baby, went regularly to Sunday service and school, performed in church plays, volunteered for most functions, stood in the living nativity, received church scholarships and was vice president/secretary for the youth group. Then, after my first semester of college I slowly stopped it all and only went to service on holidays (mostly out of pressure from my parents).

I did not stop attending church out of disdain for its members or their individual beliefs – many of the members have become part of my family because they are good people doing good things for those in need. Nor did I stop going due to my own uncertainties about what happens after this world; I respect any religion that respects my life choices.

As I become more aware of the “real” world around me, I am beginning to realize that my mounting contempt stems from what certain groups of people have turned organized religion into: rejection of other people’s life choices.

Or, more bluntly: organized hate.

“Ignorance” may be a sugarcoated word to define beliefs that prohibit certain people’s right to live a life without restraints. But to the people being discriminated against, it is hatred that restricts their freedom.

The July 30 commentary in the OBSERVER headlined, “Say ‘no’ to same sex marriages,” is an example of why my faith in organized religion continues to be rattled.

In her column, the writer comments on California’s new homosexual marriage law that was passed on May 15 and how New York – a state that only recognizes gay marriages from couples legally married outside of the state since May 29, 2008 – should not do the same.

Using direct quotes from the Bible to back up her opinion, the writer questions, “Don’t we (New York) have a mind of our own? Do we have to follow what the West Coast says is OK? Who are they but a very liberal group of people?”

This “us” versus “them” mentality frequently promotes an abhorring attitude and is the main reason why homosexuals still do not have the same freedoms as heterosexuals in this and other countries.

The first country to grant gay marriage was Norway in 2001. Two years later, the Netherlands allowed the same rights to homosexuals in 2003. In June of 2005, the Canadian Parliament enacted a law allowing legal marriage for same-sex couples, followed shortly after by Spain and South Africa.

Although the 21st century is a little late to legalize gay marriage, it is encouraging that increasing amounts of people are beginning to realize the discrimination in past and contemporary laws.

As it stands in America, on May 17, 2004 Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage and also issues licenses to gay couples from New Mexico and Rhode Island since neither state explicitly prohibits same-sex marriage. Four years later in a 4-3 decision on May 15, the justices of the California Supreme Court also overturned the gay marriage ban, ruling that people have a fundamental “right to marry” the person of their choice and that gender restrictions violate the state Constitution’s equal protection guarantee.

Although other states, such as New York, recognize legalized marriages from other states and/or provide civil unions to same-sex couples (grants gay and lesbian couples the same rights as marriage) like New Jersey, America is (sadly) far away from legalizing same-sex marriage as a collective whole.

Since becoming involved in women’s studies and charities on campus such as the V-Day campaign and the play The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, I have made many new hetero- and homosexual friends. Understanding the way these anti-gay regulations affect their lives makes me recognize the hateful convictions behind the laws.

Many groups of people who use the Bible as a word-for-word handbook for their and other people’s life choices ask the public to take a stand and say “No” in New York (and throughout the country) to this “perversion” of same-sex marriage.

During my 18 years involved with the church, love and acceptance was the word of the people, the Lord and whatever other being one believed in. The only “perversion” that was discussed was the lack of acceptance of other human beings.

People have the right to believe anything that their minds can create; that may be the most positive perk stated in the Constitution. But, when organized beliefs start gaining strength and infringing on other people’s rights and beliefs to love and live freely, then it clearly goes against what America prides itself on standing for: a melting pot of races, religions, sexualities, genders and all other diversities.

Maybe it is college that has given me this “utopian” vision. Or maybe, this is just my version of heaven.

Originally published Sunday, August 17, 2008