Splashes; rippling sounds of bodies moving in water; conversations and laughs lightly humming down from the second story bathroom window and into the backyard where I sat reading.

It was Tuesday evening and Viki and Gillian – the newly married (two years) South African flatmates of Stephanie’s (my friend from SUNY Fredonia whom I’m visiting in London) – were taking a bath.

“They’re so happy,” I smiled to myself. I couldn’t help but reflect on America – specifically California and Proposition 8.

It was a day of celebration for many of my friends back home when the California Supreme Court declared that gay and lesbians would finally be entitled to the same legal rights to marriage as heterosexuals on May 15, 2008 (even though this made California only the second state after Massachusetts to allow and recognize homosexual marriages).

Many other people were celebrating as well.

Between June and November 4, 2008, – the date when Proposition 8 (an initiative outlawing gay marriage) was passed into state law with a small majority (52.3 percent vs. 47.7 per cent) – 18,000 same-sex couples married.

The next day (November 5), many of those same couples opened lawsuits that questioned the legality of Proposition 8 and its effects on existing same-sex marriages. Many wondered whether their legal unions would be annulled.

On Tuesday May 26, 2009, the CA Supreme Court announced its decision to uphold Proposition 8 and thus outlaw same-sex marriages. At the same time, it agreed to recognize the 18,000 legal marriages from 2008.

“So, in six months time, whoever is in power decided they don’t like gay-marriage, and essentially, gay people,” Gillian commented. She had come outside after her bath to have a smoke. “Who’s to say in a few more months they decide, ‘I don’t like black people anymore.’ If you don’t have a logical reason for making decisions, then that power can’t be respected.”

Viki came down shortly after and joined us. I was curious to hear the story of how they got married since none of my gay or lesbian friends are (allowed to get) married.

They explained how they met in “typical form”: at college in South Africa (where same-sex marriage is also “not a big issue”). Viki moved to London to study English literature while Jill stayed to finish her Bachelor’s in math. They wanted to be near one another and so they both obtained work visas for two years in London.

After Gillian moved to London, they decided that marriage was the “next move” for them.

They retold the day they were joined in civil union: performed at the town hall, flowers arranged and music playing in the background, vows reach to one another followed by the “ring thing,” and photos. Both beamed while they replayed the moment to me.

“They did it up real nice,” Viki said.

According to www.thesite.org (owned and run by YouthNet UK, a registered charity founded in 1995 that provides fact sheets and articles on all the key issues facing young people), the Civil Partnership Act was passed in the UK Dec. 2005. During the first nine months following, 15,000 gay weddings took place.    
Viki explained that although same sex civil ceremonies are not regarded officially as weddings, it gives couples comparable rights to those who are heterosexual and married. Some examples:

• Tax, including inheritance tax
• Employment benefits
• Ability to apply for parental responsibility for your civil partners child
• Access to fatal accidents compensation
• Recognition for immigration and nationality purposes

However, there are some differences: 1) a civil partnership is registered when the second civil partner signs the relevant document, while a civil marriage is registered when the couple exchanges spoken words; 2) marriage ceremonies for opposite-sex couples can be either religious or civil, whereas a civil partnership can only be created by a civil ceremony.   

I explained to them how it is in the states for my friends, and how same-sex marriage/civil unions is a “big [negative] issue” in many people’s eyes.

“It’s off putting. The people in power hold onto the bible too tight; they use it as a weapon to control other people; people who are different from them,” Gillian said, exhaling smoke. There was a tinge of sympathy in her tone, maybe an acknowledgement of good fortune (for her and Viki’s ability to get married) as well.

“It’s insensible to tell someone how to live their life…unless they’re doing harm to others.”

Shortly after our conversation, I decided to have a relaxing bath myself. I watched the water run over me, and pondered what I would do if someone told me I could not marry the person I loved because of the way we looked. I waded in this thought until my body pruned.

Originally published Sunday, June 22, 2009